zombie flu anger.

i blame resident evil
last night, i had one of the most disturbing dreams i have ever had.

my belly button fell out, and i was fighting time and disgust to try and keep it in.

that's pretty much my dream in under 20 words. i'm still in shock because it was so bizarre. for some reason, i had an outtie....that kept on popping out. much like a slinky or a stupid "can of peanuts", but you know....not fun. during my entire dream, i ran from friend to friend with a hand over my stupid belly button and tears running down my exhausted face.

when i woke up this morning, the first thing i did was to make sure my innie was still an innie. i've done some googling on the subject and found several penis enlarger ad ridden dream dictionary sites that seem to be experts on the subject (dreams, not peni). so, i'm either going to get divorced/break up with my significant other, i'm pregnant, i'm close with my mother, or i'm not connected with my natural self. considering most of these don't apply, i guess it's time to find myself. again.

don't panic, but i'm about to go apeshit over prescription drugs.
swine flu. oh my god. are you scared yet? because if you aren't, fox news has apparently not done it's job. i'm just slightly annoyed. it's important to be current on world events, but it's also pretty important that the media doesn't lose its shit when people are already anxious and seeking preventative information. however, the primary reason i'm ruffled is because the doctors or whomever who treated the five year old boy (first case in mexico) gave him amoxicillin. they gave amoxicillin to someone with the flu. what. the. fuck. a five year old, nonetheless. i have a major bone to pick with folks that prescribe antibiotics without thinking of the consequences of resistance...you know, thinking of the consequences of prescribing a drug that will have absolutely no fucking effect on some kid with the flu unless he has a concurrent infection.

i'm mostly pissed off because this reminds me of how some antibiotics, including penicillin, have zero effect on me thanks to a doctor who misdiagnosed me. for six months. when i wasn't insured. thanks, doc.

/end angry eyes and heavy breathing

let the cupcake eating ensue!!! :)

who does this?

the best thing about halloween is what happens to all that delicious, fattening, coma inducing candy the day afterwards...

75% off!

so, i made my usual round to the usual suspects to pick up some reese's peanut butter cups to throw in the freezer. i ended up walking through aisles filled with inedible crap and those orange and black Mary Jane candies*. but i was about to leave when i saw this woman waving around a box of summer's eve**. i had to take a double take because i didn't think that douche was actually a sought after product (especially since all the vagina doctors tell you NOT to use it)....but there was something kinda amusing about a woman walking hand in hand with her husband...and in the other hand...douche.

i can't even imagine that conversation.

woman - hold on, babe, i have to pick up some summer's eve.
man - good thing because your jank is not fresh at all.
woman - that's messed up! if you're going to be like that, i'm going to wave it like this...so as to embarrass the hell out of you.
man - spot on, wife, spot on.

sigh.
ahhhhh...hehe.

i'll definitely be including this in a comic strip soon.

- c

*you know, the gross peanut butter ones that people hand out if they hate children.
** DOUCHE.