hypothetically, wouldn't it be sad if you found yourself desiring to stumble upon evidence of someone you don't talk to anymore. with whom you wouldn't even know what to say to for fear of not knowing what to say?
yeah. late nights make you bold on the internets.
really, really bold.
hypothetically, of course.
...
Thursday, April 30, 2009
zombie flu anger.
i blame resident evil
last night, i had one of the most disturbing dreams i have ever had.
my belly button fell out, and i was fighting time and disgust to try and keep it in.
that's pretty much my dream in under 20 words. i'm still in shock because it was so bizarre. for some reason, i had an outtie....that kept on popping out. much like a slinky or a stupid "can of peanuts", but you know....not fun. during my entire dream, i ran from friend to friend with a hand over my stupid belly button and tears running down my exhausted face.
when i woke up this morning, the first thing i did was to make sure my innie was still an innie. i've done some googling on the subject and found several penis enlarger ad ridden dream dictionary sites that seem to be experts on the subject (dreams, not peni). so, i'm either going to get divorced/break up with my significant other, i'm pregnant, i'm close with my mother, or i'm not connected with my natural self. considering most of these don't apply, i guess it's time to find myself. again.
don't panic, but i'm about to go apeshit over prescription drugs.
swine flu. oh my god. are you scared yet? because if you aren't, fox news has apparently not done it's job. i'm just slightly annoyed. it's important to be current on world events, but it's also pretty important that the media doesn't lose its shit when people are already anxious and seeking preventative information. however, the primary reason i'm ruffled is because the doctors or whomever who treated the five year old boy (first case in mexico) gave him amoxicillin. they gave amoxicillin to someone with the flu. what. the. fuck. a five year old, nonetheless. i have a major bone to pick with folks that prescribe antibiotics without thinking of the consequences of resistance...you know, thinking of the consequences of prescribing a drug that will have absolutely no fucking effect on some kid with the flu unless he has a concurrent infection.
i'm mostly pissed off because this reminds me of how some antibiotics, including penicillin, have zero effect on me thanks to a doctor who misdiagnosed me. for six months. when i wasn't insured. thanks, doc.
/end angry eyes and heavy breathing
let the cupcake eating ensue!!! :)
last night, i had one of the most disturbing dreams i have ever had.
my belly button fell out, and i was fighting time and disgust to try and keep it in.
that's pretty much my dream in under 20 words. i'm still in shock because it was so bizarre. for some reason, i had an outtie....that kept on popping out. much like a slinky or a stupid "can of peanuts", but you know....not fun. during my entire dream, i ran from friend to friend with a hand over my stupid belly button and tears running down my exhausted face.
when i woke up this morning, the first thing i did was to make sure my innie was still an innie. i've done some googling on the subject and found several penis enlarger ad ridden dream dictionary sites that seem to be experts on the subject (dreams, not peni). so, i'm either going to get divorced/break up with my significant other, i'm pregnant, i'm close with my mother, or i'm not connected with my natural self. considering most of these don't apply, i guess it's time to find myself. again.
don't panic, but i'm about to go apeshit over prescription drugs.
swine flu. oh my god. are you scared yet? because if you aren't, fox news has apparently not done it's job. i'm just slightly annoyed. it's important to be current on world events, but it's also pretty important that the media doesn't lose its shit when people are already anxious and seeking preventative information. however, the primary reason i'm ruffled is because the doctors or whomever who treated the five year old boy (first case in mexico) gave him amoxicillin. they gave amoxicillin to someone with the flu. what. the. fuck. a five year old, nonetheless. i have a major bone to pick with folks that prescribe antibiotics without thinking of the consequences of resistance...you know, thinking of the consequences of prescribing a drug that will have absolutely no fucking effect on some kid with the flu unless he has a concurrent infection.
i'm mostly pissed off because this reminds me of how some antibiotics, including penicillin, have zero effect on me thanks to a doctor who misdiagnosed me. for six months. when i wasn't insured. thanks, doc.
/end angry eyes and heavy breathing
let the cupcake eating ensue!!! :)
Friday, April 10, 2009
where's waldo?
since about january, i've been working almost 50 hours a week. my brain is wrecked. though i've managed to run almost every other night, which is a nice change. but i don't even know what to write about. though, i might actually start writing a book....we'll see.
anyways, i'm alive, my friends. i'm alive. just tired.
xo,
cricket.
anyways, i'm alive, my friends. i'm alive. just tired.
xo,
cricket.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
il est belge.
so, my lymph nodes are swollen on the left side up my neck and near my ear and jaw and collarbone. i should be freaking out right now, but i'm abnormally calm and resisting every effort in googling 'out of remission?' and 'lymphoma'. people have spreading around germies at work so i kinda hope that i have the flu or some really crappy cold and not the other thing. unless it gets worse, i'm not making a doctor's appointment. why? because if it is the other thing, i'd like to have a couple weeks without testing and waiting, testing and waiting. that sounds pretty selfish of me, and it is. i can't really explain it without sounding like a spoiled kid. cross your fingers for a cold, okay? i think it's a cold anyways!
i've never really been consistently pro-active about my health, but i've always been pro-active about my dad's health. seriously. i buy all these foods to trick my dad into eating better. i make him go to the doctor when he's sick or evenwhen he's not for check ups. i'm always trying to get him to go to NIH for those sleep apnea tests because i swear he has that condition. i make him take vitamins. when i was in middle school, he was home and my grandmother told me he was very, very sick. i went upstairs, and my dad was in fetal position puking his guts out over the side of the bed. i totally freaked out and started crying and told him i was driving him to the hospital. my mom ended up taking him....like eight hours later, and he ended up having major surgery. my aunt took me to visit him, and i ended up sobbing so loudly and so badly that she had to take me outside. i get kind of sensitive when i talk about my dad.
i probably get my storytelling abilities from him. he spent most of his life traveling far away from here, even when i was younger. he would bring back all sorts of weirdness (and candy) from his trips. i was a budding philatist as a kid so i have stamps from every country he visited, most from postcards he used to send. he also brought his camera, which i think was pretty advanced for the time. so, i was able to see all the pigeons on my dad's arms in venice (literally hundreds), basque country platters of food (for which i am very jealous), his little hotel room in china with take-out chicken feet on the table, the costumes (and insanity) of rio carinval, and belgium, belgium, belgium. my dad loves beligium. he hasn't been there in years, but he still talks about it like he just left and is about to go back. the people are nice, he says. the food is so delicious, but he can make it at home, he says. i crossed that bridge before, he says. il est belge.
actually, i probably also got my nomadic nature from him because if anyone's trips had an impact on me, they were those of my dad.
now, we're both stuck with jobs that imprison us in one area. haha. i shouldn't say that. i think dad is content to only work until 230 and get every single international relations question right on jeopardy. he's watches anthony bourdain and says 'i've been there.' it's kinda annoying, but i'm glad that he's proud.
i have no idea how to end this post. i could probably talk about my dad and his adventures for a long time. god knows i have all the stories.
well, that's it. i'm done! i want pancakes so i'm leaving!
i've never really been consistently pro-active about my health, but i've always been pro-active about my dad's health. seriously. i buy all these foods to trick my dad into eating better. i make him go to the doctor when he's sick or evenwhen he's not for check ups. i'm always trying to get him to go to NIH for those sleep apnea tests because i swear he has that condition. i make him take vitamins. when i was in middle school, he was home and my grandmother told me he was very, very sick. i went upstairs, and my dad was in fetal position puking his guts out over the side of the bed. i totally freaked out and started crying and told him i was driving him to the hospital. my mom ended up taking him....like eight hours later, and he ended up having major surgery. my aunt took me to visit him, and i ended up sobbing so loudly and so badly that she had to take me outside. i get kind of sensitive when i talk about my dad.
i probably get my storytelling abilities from him. he spent most of his life traveling far away from here, even when i was younger. he would bring back all sorts of weirdness (and candy) from his trips. i was a budding philatist as a kid so i have stamps from every country he visited, most from postcards he used to send. he also brought his camera, which i think was pretty advanced for the time. so, i was able to see all the pigeons on my dad's arms in venice (literally hundreds), basque country platters of food (for which i am very jealous), his little hotel room in china with take-out chicken feet on the table, the costumes (and insanity) of rio carinval, and belgium, belgium, belgium. my dad loves beligium. he hasn't been there in years, but he still talks about it like he just left and is about to go back. the people are nice, he says. the food is so delicious, but he can make it at home, he says. i crossed that bridge before, he says. il est belge.
actually, i probably also got my nomadic nature from him because if anyone's trips had an impact on me, they were those of my dad.
now, we're both stuck with jobs that imprison us in one area. haha. i shouldn't say that. i think dad is content to only work until 230 and get every single international relations question right on jeopardy. he's watches anthony bourdain and says 'i've been there.' it's kinda annoying, but i'm glad that he's proud.
i have no idea how to end this post. i could probably talk about my dad and his adventures for a long time. god knows i have all the stories.
well, that's it. i'm done! i want pancakes so i'm leaving!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
twenty five overshares
1. i have some mega authority issues. i hate when people tell me what to do. i'm much more receptive if someone treats me as an equal.
2. there is never a better time for pancakes than the time at hand. in fact, i'm eating one right now.
3. i hear i'm hard to surprise.
4. whenever i visit richmond, something terrible ends up happening. (the charlie on grace street fiasco a la october 2008)
5. zero is the number of times people should call me if they want reliable directions.
6. my myers-briggs type indicator is INFP. my keirsey temperament is idealist; my role variant is 'healer'.
7. marrakesh is at the top of my travel list.
8. i despise the snow. there really is never a time that i enjoy the snow. not even on christmas.
9. i am pretty self conscious about my voice. it seems to attract lecherous men.
10. i have over 300 books and no book shelf.
11. i don't believe in making things from scratch just to say that you made them from scratch.
12. i can't stand peanut butter.
13. generally, i'm pretty cheerful. it's kinda annoying. i even annoy myself sometimes.
14. i think a decent amount of my childhood was spent in a commissary. my dad usually found me in the fruit roll-up aisle.
15. andrew, valencia and i were three of those people that actually made it to the radiohead show last may. two other friends were turned away because of the flooding. i broke two umbrellas, had to replace my phone due to water damage, shivered in the rain with a non-hoodie, and then caught a hack-up-your-lung illness. i love radiohead.
16. the top three artists that make rounds on my ipod are: lewis black, vampire weekend, and radiohead.
17. my longest relationship lasted for seven years. the shortest lasted for a week and a half.
18. i have a ukelele, which i like to play in the middle of the night.
19. my first major crush was on egon spengler. so far, everyone i have dated has been some kind of mad scientist/inventor person. coincidence? i think not.
20. when i was completing my senior thesis in college, i kept all of my documentation (literature reviews, drafts, tapes of my interviews, etc.) in a neon orange accordion folder so i could grab it in case of a fire or another run-out-the-door kind of emergency.
21. i keep a copy of the star wars intergalactic phrasebook in my glove compartment. just in case.
22. i haven't eaten mcdonalds since 2006. i don't plan on eating anything from there ever again.
23. i like being around people who actually give a shit.
24. whenever i am having a very, very, bad day, i listen to a very old recording of brandin reading to me. i don't know what he's reading because it's incoherent because he's laughing so much. because he's reading it over some pet shop boys music. i've only listened to it twice since he died.
25. i love dc. i really do. it's such an lovely little city. don't believe me? go to the khalil gibran memorial garden and sit on the wall around 4am. you'll have the best view in town, and you'll get to see it wake up. all those crazy record spots, hipster (ew) coffee bars...oh i love it.
2. there is never a better time for pancakes than the time at hand. in fact, i'm eating one right now.
3. i hear i'm hard to surprise.
4. whenever i visit richmond, something terrible ends up happening. (the charlie on grace street fiasco a la october 2008)
5. zero is the number of times people should call me if they want reliable directions.
6. my myers-briggs type indicator is INFP. my keirsey temperament is idealist; my role variant is 'healer'.
7. marrakesh is at the top of my travel list.
8. i despise the snow. there really is never a time that i enjoy the snow. not even on christmas.
9. i am pretty self conscious about my voice. it seems to attract lecherous men.
10. i have over 300 books and no book shelf.
11. i don't believe in making things from scratch just to say that you made them from scratch.
12. i can't stand peanut butter.
13. generally, i'm pretty cheerful. it's kinda annoying. i even annoy myself sometimes.
14. i think a decent amount of my childhood was spent in a commissary. my dad usually found me in the fruit roll-up aisle.
15. andrew, valencia and i were three of those people that actually made it to the radiohead show last may. two other friends were turned away because of the flooding. i broke two umbrellas, had to replace my phone due to water damage, shivered in the rain with a non-hoodie, and then caught a hack-up-your-lung illness. i love radiohead.
16. the top three artists that make rounds on my ipod are: lewis black, vampire weekend, and radiohead.
17. my longest relationship lasted for seven years. the shortest lasted for a week and a half.
18. i have a ukelele, which i like to play in the middle of the night.
19. my first major crush was on egon spengler. so far, everyone i have dated has been some kind of mad scientist/inventor person. coincidence? i think not.
20. when i was completing my senior thesis in college, i kept all of my documentation (literature reviews, drafts, tapes of my interviews, etc.) in a neon orange accordion folder so i could grab it in case of a fire or another run-out-the-door kind of emergency.
21. i keep a copy of the star wars intergalactic phrasebook in my glove compartment. just in case.
22. i haven't eaten mcdonalds since 2006. i don't plan on eating anything from there ever again.
23. i like being around people who actually give a shit.
24. whenever i am having a very, very, bad day, i listen to a very old recording of brandin reading to me. i don't know what he's reading because it's incoherent because he's laughing so much. because he's reading it over some pet shop boys music. i've only listened to it twice since he died.
25. i love dc. i really do. it's such an lovely little city. don't believe me? go to the khalil gibran memorial garden and sit on the wall around 4am. you'll have the best view in town, and you'll get to see it wake up. all those crazy record spots, hipster (ew) coffee bars...oh i love it.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
making the zombie hut into a reality and other weird affairs
unhand me, zombie menace!
for the past two nights, i've had a couple of intense dreams about zombies. nothing surprising there, yeah? but in both of my dreams, i've lived in a straw/tin hut with my friends. a hut on stilts, filled to the brim with board games in disheveled boxes. the sun would hit the horizon, and my friends and i would climb up rope ladders to the safety of our home and pretend we were in an attic. we'd play a rousing game of clue and try to drown out the sound of nails raking across the tin walls. last night's dream included an escape plan to a bigger hut. unsuccessful.
i woke up in a state of panic because i thought i was about to be undead chum because this zombie priest (yeah, i know.) had grabbed my hand as i was trying to jump from hut roof to hut roof. it turns out my hand was lingering near a window. and. it. is. cold.
* coat kitten. noun. one who talks a lot of smack about being able to brave the winter months and then as soon as he or she steps outside starts whining and then ends up in someone else's coat because the samaritan friend doesn't want to hear it any more.
TICKER NOTES
christ, it's a lion!
so, i just finished off a peanut butter sandwich. i got the memo on the whole 'DO NOT EAT PEANUT BUTTER IF YOU WANT TO LIVE' thing, but i also really wanted peanut butter, which is a rarity anyways because usually i can't stand the stuff. aieee!!! living on the edge!!!
this calls for a parade.
a couple of months ago, i was jumping up and down, hugging strangers, and crying on u street. now, in less than twenty four hours, obama will take oath just hop, skip, and jump away from here [insert fist pumping 'yessssss!' here]
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
someone call the monarchy, we have an imposter on our hands
alligator notes.
let me preface this by saying i just had a really bad day. yes, work is kind of insane. yes, i chose to slice off my hair without thinking (yet again) about blustery winds. but, i really am having a shit day. perhaps, it's just one of those days when everything going wrong converges on me. these days occur too often nowadays. i find myself wandering around my own memories of happier, less complicated times. i guess, sometimes you have to laugh at the universe's infinite joke. everything changes. blah blah blah.
i haven't been able to write in months. no meaningful posts. no additions to the novel. not even a paragraph on desire or devastation. i sit in front of my desk, waiting for words to spew out my fingers and instead, i get a bunch of crap on how i'm having a bad day and how i can't find the inspiration to form pretty sentences. a friend of mine asked me to write about my adventures in the romantic world, in which there is a vast amount of story telling to be had, but i think things are getting a little too real for me, and writing about the lack of mental connection and surplus of whatever remains is actually starting to get to me.
you're not good enough for me, snob!
a new friend of mine (i only say new because we've not hung out as often as most people i hang out with) sent me an email. he made a sideways comment about how i'm a little snobby, and i don't know why, but that has REALLY messed with my head. i've been hurtling staple removers across my desk since. i don't normally give a shit what most people think about me because i'm used to being the odd bug. but. i am really bothered by this. am i snobby? do i condescend to people without even knowing it? i have no idea. i called up some of my close friends and asked other folks whether or not they get that impression about me and the consensus is that i'm not a snob. (though, let the record show that valencia thinks i am a music snob and does not think that that is a bad thing.) so why the hell is this bothering me so much?
because a boy. made me laugh. and i made him laugh. and now we don't speak. now i'm getting phased out.
...
yeah, i know. i'm actually somewhat pissed that i'm even thinking about this and feel like i'm falling into that stupid trap of tradition. i've taken something that someone said, applied it to a sensitive situation and then used it to pretty much paralyze my brain for a day (yet, i'm sure i'll be thinking about this for awhile). a bit of me wants to know if he, the boy who made me laugh, also thought i was a condescending wench. if it was the lack of the click, then eeeeeeeeyyy...it happens, you know? but if it really was the way i come across, if i really come across as being a snobby know it all, then i am really saddened by that. and a completely panicked part of myself is wondering if i looked like complete and utter shit.
crap. what the hell did i wear anyways?
it seems like the older i've become, the more resistant i am to the idea settling down. but it doesn't mean i want to be some lonely mean lady on a porch with eight cats. that is a hard thing to balance and even a harder thing to explain. and it's definitely not something i would subject someone to...especially if they were a secret traditionalist who wanted a (itsanicedayfora) WHITE WEDDING.
i guess i'll see what happens.
[probably nothing. damn.]
let me preface this by saying i just had a really bad day. yes, work is kind of insane. yes, i chose to slice off my hair without thinking (yet again) about blustery winds. but, i really am having a shit day. perhaps, it's just one of those days when everything going wrong converges on me. these days occur too often nowadays. i find myself wandering around my own memories of happier, less complicated times. i guess, sometimes you have to laugh at the universe's infinite joke. everything changes. blah blah blah.
i haven't been able to write in months. no meaningful posts. no additions to the novel. not even a paragraph on desire or devastation. i sit in front of my desk, waiting for words to spew out my fingers and instead, i get a bunch of crap on how i'm having a bad day and how i can't find the inspiration to form pretty sentences. a friend of mine asked me to write about my adventures in the romantic world, in which there is a vast amount of story telling to be had, but i think things are getting a little too real for me, and writing about the lack of mental connection and surplus of whatever remains is actually starting to get to me.
you're not good enough for me, snob!
a new friend of mine (i only say new because we've not hung out as often as most people i hang out with) sent me an email. he made a sideways comment about how i'm a little snobby, and i don't know why, but that has REALLY messed with my head. i've been hurtling staple removers across my desk since. i don't normally give a shit what most people think about me because i'm used to being the odd bug. but. i am really bothered by this. am i snobby? do i condescend to people without even knowing it? i have no idea. i called up some of my close friends and asked other folks whether or not they get that impression about me and the consensus is that i'm not a snob. (though, let the record show that valencia thinks i am a music snob and does not think that that is a bad thing.) so why the hell is this bothering me so much?
because a boy. made me laugh. and i made him laugh. and now we don't speak. now i'm getting phased out.
...
yeah, i know. i'm actually somewhat pissed that i'm even thinking about this and feel like i'm falling into that stupid trap of tradition. i've taken something that someone said, applied it to a sensitive situation and then used it to pretty much paralyze my brain for a day (yet, i'm sure i'll be thinking about this for awhile). a bit of me wants to know if he, the boy who made me laugh, also thought i was a condescending wench. if it was the lack of the click, then eeeeeeeeyyy...it happens, you know? but if it really was the way i come across, if i really come across as being a snobby know it all, then i am really saddened by that. and a completely panicked part of myself is wondering if i looked like complete and utter shit.
crap. what the hell did i wear anyways?
it seems like the older i've become, the more resistant i am to the idea settling down. but it doesn't mean i want to be some lonely mean lady on a porch with eight cats. that is a hard thing to balance and even a harder thing to explain. and it's definitely not something i would subject someone to...especially if they were a secret traditionalist who wanted a (itsanicedayfora) WHITE WEDDING.
i guess i'll see what happens.
[probably nothing. damn.]
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
